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In Response To: Re: Rape Fantasy?Message Thread:
Date: Sun Apr 20 17:46:15 2003
From: Layla
Subject: Re: Re: Rape Fantasy?I found your comments very insightful. I was really confused about
how I could enjoy being submissive-fantacizing about rape- and at
the same time getting upset whenever my boyfriend expected me to follow
traditional gender roles-i.e., making him coffee- which would make
me feel like I'm his servant. I kinda still feel like a hypocrite
to have these opposing views.
Can you or someone out there give me more input into what attracts
men to rape fantasies? I could never picture myself raping someone,
even in fantasy. Why? The appeal is to be the submissive and not the
domineering one. Why is this if in life I usually hold my ground about
things and consider myself a non-conformist and a free thinker.
Do the majority of men fantacize about conquering a woman or fantacize
about more mutual, egalitarian relations? What attracts them more?
Do men in general prefer having control in bed or does it turn them
on when there's equal power in bed? Does it turn a guy off when a
girl initiates sex? For some reason I think that it is unattractive
to a guy (?!) And why do some men like it when the woman is dominant
in bed? Is it because they know that she really is the submissive
one and they get off on the fact that she thinks she is in power when
in fact
he is the one that lets her have it?
Another thing. My bofriend is not into the rape thing. I'm also afraid
that he thinks these desires of mine confirm that I am the weaker
sex that naturally should be controlled. But I am so passionately
against shouvenism. How can I be a feminist and a rape fantasy person
at the same time?
I would like to exchange insights on this topic so if you're interested
write me at: ipabian@jcu.edu