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In Response To: Nice guys vs. assholesMessage Thread:
Date: Sun Jun 29 08:12:48 2003
From: NG2
Subject: Re: Nice guysRB,
You said it so well, there's little I can add. I've been there
and it was three years of blissful agony. I worshipped that beautiful
redhead and spent all my waking moments thinking of ways to please
her and take care of her.
I loved her children and got along great with the family. She
and I were great in the bedroom, too. She told me and others it was
the best sex she'd ever had. For me, it was pure Heaven.
The problem was, she didn't have to work for it. I adored her
so completely that I gave her anything, everything, without objection
or complaint. Like an idiot.
How boring. I became her door mat, her safety net and her private
ego-booster. And that's all I was. She used me and I let her because
I was desperately seeking a way to recapture the feelings she had
when we were first together, when she was so thrilled to be pampered
and spoiled. I was also crazy with lust and desire for her sexually.
Didn't matter. As RB explained, she wanted a Bad Boy - who would
ALSO treat her like I did. There's no such thing. You can't have
it both ways. Ideally, you'll get a mix of both.
However, even though I know this NOW, I also know that there's
no way to rekindle that long-ago fire with her. I also find that even
though I will always love her, I cannot forgive her for what she knowingly
did to me. Thus, it's over. You must accept this, too.
That's my advice. Completely sever ties with Her. It helps that
She's in another state. Go out or do things that put you in social
situations and find someone new to spend some time with. Doesn't
have to be love, it just needs to be fun. If you're just not ready
for a woman at all, go see old friends and renew acquaintances.
You're on your own now, so do something daring and exciting, something
you've always wanted to do. Make your life more interesting. If you
simply concentrate on having fun and doing new things - and NOT thinking
about Her, after a while, there'll be enough distance between your
heart and Her that you'll be able to move on. One day, like me, you'll
thank God for unanswered prayers.
First things first. After you've read all these messages and thought
about what they have to say, turn off the computer and go outside.
Go somewhere and do something. Jumpstart your life again. It's
been waiting on you.
Good luck,
NG2